Best Advice I’ve Been Given :: Davina Fear

by contributor on 31/05/2013

in Guest Editors 2013, Resources

During most of 2013, Whipup.net will hosting a monthly mini-series, each month edited by different crafters and designers. Enjoy!

Introducing Destri from The Mother Huddle :: The theme for this month is Advice For Starting and Growing a Creative Business :: Stop listening to the advice of those that say it can’t be done, and seek the advice of those who are successfully doing what you want to do.

Destri :: The Mother Huddle

DAV_0198

Davina was quite literally one of my earliest inspirations, and I can’t wait for you to read her advice. I introduced myself to Davina by email a little over four years ago asking for advice with my blog that hadn’t yet launched.  She sent me over 1000 words of sound advice without even knowing who I was.  It’s hard to find people like that these days.  What I love most about Davina is her passion for the family unit, her words always remind me what’s truly important and why I got into this creative business to begin with.  Enjoy!

About Davina and Her Creative Business

Davina Fear is a familyness adventurer. By day she helps moms rediscover that all they want, they already have. By night she builds forts the size of elephants, discovers her superpowers, lives a non-balanced life, and gives her husband 15 minutes every night. Her familyness photo workshop is changing mom’s lives, not just while they are behind the camera, but also in the everyday chaos of mom-hood. She blogs from her yellow house at davinafear.com.

DAV_0144

Best Advice I Have For Those In A Creative Business

The Day I Walked Out Of Cracker Barrel.

Over twelve years ago I went to a support group for parents of twins. When I arrived at the meeting the women were so warm and inviting. I appreciated their willingness to welcome me into their group.

Seated at the Cracker Barrel, surrounded by waffles and french toast, bacon and eggs, I was ready to hear all of the ways to manage having 2 babies in a couple of months. What followed was a steady stream of how difficult the next two years would be… I was going to detest the next two years. It was going to be so hard that I was going to wish for things I had never considered. Life was going to be hard. It wasn’t going to get easier until these two little monsters went to school.

Part way through breakfast I felt defeated before I had even had these babies. By the time the last bit of syrup and bacon had been consumed, I was mad.

I made a decision as I walked determinedly (is that a word?) out to the car: I was going to enjoy having these babies. I was going to make sure I didn’t see it as a torture session someone was putting me through. I was going to love every second. If someone asked me about what is was like having twins, I was going to be helpful, realistic, and hopeful.

DAV_0134a

Obviously, every second wasn’t bliss and I had hard days. There were times I would sit in my chair with two babies attached to me feeling worn out, and I would remember that day I walked out of Cracker Barrel. It would make me look at my babies longer, hold them closer, and remind myself that these days would pass too quickly. I would never again get to hold a baby that was only 5 pounds and a baby that was only 6 pounds, at the same time, ever again. I would think to myself, “This is my moment. Don’t miss it.”

Even though this experience doesn’t sound like advice — it changed my life as a mom and as a business person. I realized then that it’s up to me to make choices about how I am going to see my circumstances and what my responsibility is in my own situation. I can make my working experience and business joyful or miserable. I can make my family life full and beautiful or annoying and hard to get through on a daily basis.

The last couple of years have been rough. I’ve moved across the country, started up a new business, had a difficult time getting it off the ground, transitioned to building familyness, and discovered so much more in the process.

The reality is: it’s been a difficult road. The help I offer you: that everything happens in a way that puts you right where you need to be. The hope is: you are destined for something amazing. You’ll see it if you let yourself look past the yuck that you’re in and see the beauty. Everyday isn’t easy but I’m willing to bet that the good days outnumber the bad ones.

Now, years later, I still say that same thing to myself, “This is my moment. Don’t miss it.”

I can relate with this so much, as anyone in the thick of a creative business can I am sure. Thanks so much Davina for sharing! — Destri

Be Sociable, Share!

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lisa June 3, 2013 at 10:38 am

I really enjoyed this on a number of levels. I also am a mama of twins (now 13!) so there’s that. :) But, I have also been reading the book “Mindset” and thinking a lot about how we approach things. I like what you’re saying about embracing your moment and deciding to find the goodness in it. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

2 Davina July 29, 2013 at 12:54 pm

Hi Lisa!
I’m so sorry for the delay in replying to you! Hello fellow twin mom! I’ve not heard of the book “Mindset” but now you’ve got my curiosity telling me to run over to Amazon. You’ve possibly made it through the book by now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

One of the things that I think my kids learn from me when I see the beauty of the moment or the possibilities in it is they realize there are always options. So often, when we get discouraged it’s because we cease to see options. I know that’s been the case for me, when I start to feel painted into a corner it becomes a lot harder to see a way out. Shifting to a place where I see good stuff suddenly creates options!

3 Davina July 29, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Destri! Thank you so much for emailing me those years ago. I’ve loved the opportunity to see you create and build The Mother Huddle. YOU are an inspiration. :)

Previous post:

Next post: